Mediaphyter - A Communications Cocktail

It’s almost my birthday and it’s my first one without my father. Clarification - It’s the first one without the hope of my father. We hadn’t seen each other for almost 30 years until the day he tragically passed away in May 2007. The story is long and personal but the point is clear: While I gained an amazing new wacky Italian family, this loss is still hard and it still hurts and its making this birthday a rough one.

If it’s a long and personal story, why am I writing this? Because over the last year I’ve had one too many people say to me, “If you hadn’t seen him, how can you miss him?” The loss, with it being a loss of hope, is intangible. It’s what they call “ambiguous loss and disenfranchised grief.” It’s the kind of grief that one experiences when the situation is not cut and dry and perhaps others cannot understand the loss. But it is real.

My best friend, who is an amazing nurse and grief counselor, recommended I do some research on this sort of grief to help myself through the process. Most pressing, so I could enjoy my birthday without the cloud hanging over my head or the guilt associated with grieving the once-possessed hope. I thought it might be good of me to share the additional resources I found and that helped me, in case there are others who have been unjustifiably told they should not grieve:

• The Centre for Living with Dying
• Recommended Grief Reading List
• Expressive Counseling
• eHow: Recognizing Disenfranchised Grief